


The Water Wouldn't Let Me Come In

by ClareGuilty



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Anal Sex, Blackwatch Era, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Longing, M/M, Panic Attacks, Pining, Smut, Swimming Pools, vine references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-08
Updated: 2019-07-08
Packaged: 2020-06-24 10:28:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19721833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClareGuilty/pseuds/ClareGuilty
Summary: A low voice in Jesse’s ear did nothing to ease his racing heart as the water lapped at his ribs, his shoulders, his chin. He took a deep breath in and squeezed his eyes shut and suddenly the water was tugging at his hair with a strange weightless feeling and his skin was so cold everywhere except where Gabriel’s met his own. The panic began to creep in, winding its way through his veins as he imagined the air in his lungs running out.And then he was being lifted. Strong hands under his arms pulling him up until his head broke the surface and water ran from his hair and he blinked in the strange fluorescent lights and he could breathe.Gabriel teaches Jesse how to swim





	The Water Wouldn't Let Me Come In

**Author's Note:**

> This fic has been a WIP for over a year now, so there's a chance the tone/style is wildly inconsistent from beginning to end. This started as a vine reference that was supposed to be 5k, and is now 8k and has a whole lot of other stuff involved. I did my best to edit, but I may have missed some things.
> 
> Am I a cool McReyes writer yet? I hope y'all like this!

Jesse McCree could do a lot of things. He was fluent in English and Spanish, and was slowly but surely picking up German and French as well. Give him any kind of firearm and he could land shots with almost 100 percent accuracy. He could hotwire cars and motorcycles faster than anyone he knew. He could even count by twos and tie his shoes, though algebra was a bit difficult for him. 

There was one thing Jesse McCree knew for certain he couldn’t do: swim.

Growing up as an orphan in the deserts of New Mexico taught a kid a lot of useful skills. Swimming was not one of them. Before being arrested by Overwatch, McCree had never even seen a large body of water. There were troughs for washing, troughs for drinking, and troughs for drowning; that was it. Unfortunately, Jesse was familiar with all three. He didn’t know why it had never occurred to him that he would need to know how to swim, but the thought had just never come up. He avoided the pool on base at all costs, and going on a trip to the beach wasn’t an option until he had proven to the high command that he was a _reformed man_.

That morning, when Reyes had demanded that Blackwatch be ready to go in the natatorium by 0800 hours sharp, McCree had felt a twist of fear in his gut. He had managed to walk to the requisitions desk and obtain all of the necessary gear for pool comp without breaking down. He had even made it back to his room, stiffly laying out each item on his bed. Athena politely informed him that it was 0700 hours, but McCree ignored her and stared, petrified, at the gear on his bed.

1 Overwatch Wetsuit  
1 Pair Overwatch Male Swim Trunks  
1 Field Sized Self Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus  
1 Diving Mask

McCree knew that he only needed his swim trunks and probably the diving mask for this morning’s training, but he couldn’t stop the shiver that ran through him as he picked up the mask. He could already feel the pressure of the water, forcing the mask to his face. He knew he would have to fight to stay above the surface, to move through the thick and suffocating chlorinated liquid.

The mask clattered to the ground as McCree turned to his sink. He plugged the bottom of the basin and turned the tap on. Lukewarm water filled the metal basin, rising slowly as more and more water poured loudly into the sink. Once the sink was almost all the way full, Jesse turned the taps off and braced his hands on either side of the shallow basin. Taking a deep breath, he pushed his face to the surface of the water, submerging his head.

Memories flooded Jesse’s mind with the force of the Colorado Rapids. A hand, large and heavy, at the base of his skull, fisted in his greasy hair. Laughter and jeers accompanied by sharp kicks and harsh slaps. Water flooded into his nose, his mouth, sucked into his lungs.

Jesse yanked his head out of the water, coughing and spluttering. He sank to the floor, dripping wet and wheezing. His throat burned, his lungs burned, his nose burned, his eyes burned. Why did water burn so much? Forced to his hands and knees, water burst from his lungs as he coughed and gagged. The scuba mask stared up at him from its place on the floor, mocking him and his weakness.

After months of work, months of training, months of _trying_ , Jesse was about to lose everything because of _water_. He had tried so desperately to earn his second chance, to prove that he was worth a damn to Reyes, and he was about to lose it all. Sent to prison because he was more of a sink than a swim kinda guy. 

The most humiliating part was that it had been _working_. Commander Reyes was proud of him. Captain Amari was fond of him. His teammates in Blackwatch could count on him, even if they couldn’t yet call him a friend. He had worked his ass off to prove to Strike Commander Morrison that Reyes hadn’t made a mistake in choosing him, that he could do some good in this world.

McCree fell completely to the floor, unable to face what he knew would be humiliation and devastation. Athena, uncaring and impartial, notified him that it was a quarter to eight. McCree stared at the diving mask and struggled to breathe.

Time stopped passing normally after that point. 0800 came too soon, it didn’t feel like 15 minutes at all. Then, everything stopped. The only sound McCree heard was the slight hum of the ventilation in his dorm as he lay completely still, waiting for the end to come.   
His brain was screaming at him to get up, to at least start packing his bags, but his body wouldn’t respond. A small puddle had formed under his head, and he couldn’t stop shivering even though he wasn’t cold. The diving mask remained as it had fallen, a reminder of Jesse’s failure.

Hours passed, or maybe minutes. Jesse had no way of knowing. Finally, a sharp knock sounded at his door. There was no question as to who it was.

“McCree, Athena knows you’re in there.” Reyes’s voice threatened from the hallway. McCree knew he should get up, should answer the door and accept his fate, but he couldn’t move. Breathing suddenly became difficult. He was back underwater again. Darkness threatened to close in on his vision.

The sound of his door opening seemed far away, as did Reyes’s heavy footsteps as he marched into McCree’s room, ready to enact harsh punishment for missing training. McCree couldn’t bring himself to focus on any one thing; it was all too much at once.

“Holy shit, McCree.” Reyes must have noticed his pathetic form, curled in on itself on the cold, unforgiving floor.

Suddenly, the floor was moving away from him. McCree found himself being lifted up and placed on the bed, all of the aquatics gear swept to the ground.

“McCree? You with me?” Reyes was searching his eyes for any kind of response. He felt fingers against his neck, checking for a pulse.

“Jesse? Can you tell me what happened?” The sound of his first name sent a shock down Jesse’s spine, and he jolted into alertness. Reyes seemed to visibly relax at this, and placed a large hand on either side of McCree’s head, forcing him to maintain eye contact with his commander. Reyes didn’t speak right away, instead searching Jesse’s expression with staunch intent.

“You’re in your room. You’re safe. You missed training, so I came to check up on you.” Reyes stated in a calm clear voice. The words bounced around between Jesse’s ears for several moments before he could assign any meaning to them. Reyes released Jesse’s head and sat patiently while the cowboy put himself back together.

“I’m sorry I let you down, _jefe_.” Jesse’s voice was creaky and hoarse.

“It’s okay Jess,” Reyes’s voice held sincerity, not pity, not anger, but true concern. “I just need to know what’s going on. It’s my job to make sure you’re doing alright.” There it was. Of course, Reyes gave a shit. He was paid to give a shit. His ass was on the line here. If Jesse wasn’t up to scratch, Reyes would go down too; he chose Jesse in the first place. This wasn’t about Jesse. This never was, and never would be, about Jesse McCree.

“I’m doing just _fine_. Thanks for asking.” The spite in McCree’s words cut deep. Reyes recoiled back, away from the younger man.

“Last I checked, agent. Laying dripping wet and petrified on the floor of your dorm in shock is the exact opposite of fine.” Reyes crossed his arms, “I wanna know exactly what’s going on here.” McCree was all too familiar with the creases in Reyes’s forehead, the disapproval in his gaze.

“What’s _going on here_ ,” Jesse spat Reyes’s own words back at him, “Is that you fucked up. Your little project ain’t gonna work. It was nice knowin’ y’all, but I think it’s about time I went to prison, ya know, where I belong.” Jesse dug his fingers into his thighs, tears stinging at the backs of his eyes. His throat felt tight, and he knew that if he broke down in front of his Commander, all the bullshit he had been fighting off for weeks would rise to the surface, and it would get ugly.

Reyes looked at Jesse. He didn’t say anything for nearly a minute, just sized up the agent in front of him. It was easy to forget that Jesse McCree was barely even nineteen years old. Reyes hated thinking about the boy’s age, for a multitude of reasons. But here, in this moment, he saw a kid who needed a lot more than just a commander.

“Look, _Jessito_ ,” Jesse looked up at the nickname, eyes wide, “I don’t know what happened earlier, and you’re gonna have to tell me sooner or later, but know this: You’re not going to prison. You’re not leaving Blackwatch. And you are much more to me than just a project.”

Jesse stared at him, mouth agape.

“You’re one of the best recruits I’ve got. I know I can count on you. Whatever this is, we’ll get through it. The two of us.” Reyes looked expectantly at Jesse, waiting for some kind of agreement. After a moment’s hesitation, McCree nodded.

The weight and pressure that had been suffocating Jesse seemed to lift. Reyes was glad to see the cowboy relax a little.

“If you’re feeling up to it, could you do me a favor?” Reyes asked.

“Sure, _jefe_. What do you need?” McCree’s voice was still rough, and he coughed a little as he tried to speak with his usual volume again.

“Could you run and check on Fareeha for me?” Reyes asked, “I told Ana I would keep an eye on her for a day or two while she’s in Paris. God, that woman would kill me if she found out what I let her daughter get up to.” The commander chuckled, but the fear behind his eyes was real. Ana Amari could destroy whomever she pleased.

“You got it. I’ll take her to the shop and let her bother Torb for a bit.” McCree clicked his tongue with a pair of finger guns before dashing out the door. Reyes was glad that would keep Jesse occupied for a while. He didn’t need to finish the day’s training until Reyes could figure out what was going on.

With Jesse gone, Reyes could properly investigate. Clearly, something had upset the cowboy, and he was going to figure out what.

“Athena, where was McCree this morning?” Reyes asked the AI.

“Agent McCree left for the cafeteria at 06:04. He checked in at the requisitions desk at 06:47. He returned to his room at 06:52. He left just now.” Athena supplied. Unfortunately, the computer wasn’t able to give any more details. With just those facts, it was difficult to ascertain what had brought on Jesse’s panic attack.

Reyes scanned the room. The aquatic training gear had been shoved to the floor to make room for Jesse on the bed, which was unmade (typical of Jesse). Everything else was exactly where it should be. Reyes looked to the floor where he found Jesse, seeing the puddle of water that had pooled under his head. He walked to where the sink was still full of water, the surrounding area also wet. This discovery only seemed to raise more questions than it answered.

* * *

Fareeha was overjoyed that Jesse could take a day off of training to spend with her. Jesse himself didn’t mind being the babysitter; he had had a rough morning and any distraction was welcome to take his mind off of the worry that trailed behind him.

At 14, Fareeha was a tan, lean disaster of a teenage girl. Jesse sometimes struggled to keep up with her as she endlessly and enthusiastically chattered into his ear. She had an almost criminal knowledge of all of the happenings on base, as well as an intricate understanding of what was happening online as well. Neither of these subjects greatly interested Jesse, who knew very few people on base and was prohibited from internet access. He had never really had an online presence in the first place, so Fareeha’s dialect of chat speak and memes sounded almost as foreign as her native Arabic.

Torbjorn was thankful for the company; his team of fellow engineers apparently lacked his sense of humor, and he appreciated that Jesse and Fareeha both enjoyed his terrible dad jokes. He spoke fondly of his own children and grandchildren, many of whom had met Fareeha at one point or another. Jesse was employed in fetching tools and tightening bolts, as well as giving Fareeha piggyback rides across the lab so she wouldn’t have to compromise her game of “the floor is lava.” It wasn’t long until he had nearly forgotten the catastrophic events of the morning.

Gabriel hadn’t forgotten. He had given the rest of Blackwatch Squadron a ridiculous amount of sets to do and excused himself to go find Angela. She was a medical professional and a friend of Jesse’s; she had to know something.

“Commander Reyes,” The blonde doctor greeted as he strode into the medbay, “Nice of you to come visit voluntarily.” Her voice was sweet, but her tone held playful sarcasm. Reyes made a point of avoiding the medbay, especially when he was injured, and usually had to be dragged in by either Jack or Ana.

“I have questions about McCree.” He stated, straight to the point. The smell of disinfectant and rubbing alcohol was already making his skin crawl, and he wanted to make this visit as short as possible. Hospitals always reminded him of the torturous Soldier Enhancement Program.

“Oh,” Angela looked up in surprise “The last time I saw him he was pretty healthy. It may be a few years before he can fully make up for what Deadlock did to him, but otherwise, he’s doing just fine.” She pulled up his chart for good measure.

“What about panic attacks?” Reyes asked, crossing his arms. “He didn’t show up to training this morning and I found him in his room, soaking wet, in the middle of a pretty bad one.” Angela seemed taken aback by this information. Reyes saw the concern on her face before she quickly accessed his psych eval sheet, bringing it up for both to see.

“He definitely has a tendency to be very anxious.” Angela murmured, scrolling through the numerous pages. “But even in his file, it doesn’t mention anything about panic attacks or flashbacks.” She turned to Reyes. “This seems like the kind of thing you should take up with him directly.” The suggestion sounded like an order, Angela had turned on her Doctor Voice™. “Or, if you would like, I can have him come here and we can talk about it.”

“No.” Commander Reyes’s answer was quick and final. “I’ll talk to him about it. I’m his Commander. Thank you, Angela.” He turned and left the medbay, leaving Angela concerned for her friend and only a little bit confused.

* * *

Reyes intercepted Jesse in the hallway after he had dropped Fareeha off with her next babysitter, Amélie Lacroix. The cowboy froze when he saw his commander, and Reyes knew he had to plan his next moves very carefully. It would be pointless to scare Jesse into silence.

“Commander Reyes,” Jesse greeted cautiously, “Did you need something?” The uncertainty was written clear on his face.

“Let’s go to the range,” Reyes said, waiting for Jesse to nod before turning to walk that way. Jesse scampered along behind him. 

Neither of them spoke until Jesse had loaded peacekeeper and taken out a dozen bots without any strain. When Reyes finally broke the silence, it was as though Jesse had been expecting a slap in the face. He flinched at the sound of his commander’s voice, only to relax when he realized he wasn’t being punished.

“There’s nothing wrong with having panic attacks.” Reyes began, “Very few good soldiers don’t have them. Hell, I’ve seen enough shit in my day to send Director Petras to the madhouse. But you do need to _tell_ someone about this kind of stuff. If we don’t know what your weaknesses are, we can’t set you up to compensate for them on the field.” The aged soldier looked at his protege with genuine concern.

Jesse fumed silently for several seconds, weighing the outcomes of honesty and debating how much trust he wanted to put into the man before him.

“What was I supposed to say? ‘Whaddup, I’m Jesse, I’m 19, and I never fuckin’ learned how to swim?’” Jesse threw his arms up in exasperation.

Reyes was quiet again, studying Jesse with furrowed brows. When he spoke again, his voice was calm. “Are you afraid of the water, Jesse?” he asked.

“I don’t think I can say for sure, seein’ as I’ve never actually been _in_ the water.” He responded drily.

For several moments, silence filled the air between the two men. The quiet seemed to wrap around Jesse’s throat until Reyes spoke again.

“Would you like for me to teach you how to swim?” Commander Reyes asked. Jesse looked at him, eyes wide. The young cowboy nodded slowly. “Meet me at the pool tonight. 2000 hours. You don’t need any gear, just your trunks.” 

Jesse still looked dumbstruck.

“Are you ok Jesse?” Reyes asked. The sound of his first name hit home, and Jesse nodded.

“You’re not gonna send me to jail?” He asked, voice smaller than Reyes was used to.

“No, _pendejo_. I’ve spent too much time on you to give up now. Besides, Ana would never forgive me if I sent her favorite babysitter away, and don’t get me started on how devastated Fareeha would be. You’re the older brother she always wanted.” Reyes shook his head. His words spoke of personal indifference, but his tone was fond.

Reyes left. Jesse stood alone in the practice range, holding peacekeeper, feeling more wanted than he ever had in his life.

* * *

The Overwatch indoor aquatics center was large, loud, and smelled of chlorine. Bright white lights cast strange shadows behind the various equipment scattered throughout the complex. Large ventilation units emitted a constant hum that seemed just loud enough so as not to be tuned out. The water itself was clear and blue; Jesse could see to the bottom of the large rectangular pool, but he was not sure exactly how deep it was. His bare feet shuffled awkwardly on the wet concrete as he stared at the smooth surface of the unforgiving water.

Jesse had arrived early, but Reyes was earlier. He was waiting by a bench with two towels and two water bottles. Upon the arrival of his student, Commander Reyes set his datapad aside and removed his shirt and pants, stripping down to just his trunks. Jesse watched his commander with apprehension and appreciation. He was starting to wonder if having Reyes as his private swim instructor was a bad idea. The Overwatch swimwear was not very modest, nor was it very discreet. But one look at the large pool reminded Jesse that this was not, in any way, an arousing activity, and he decided that the only person he would trust to teach him was his commander.

Reyes waited until Jesse had shed his own sweats and tee before walking to the edge of the pool.

“The water on this end is only 4 feet deep. You’ll be able to stand no problem.” Reyes demonstrated by sliding into the water. Jesse was envious of his comfort, the ease with which he let himself be enveloped by the constricting liquid. “If you want, you can sit on the edge for a few minutes, just put your feet in. I can demonstrate a few strokes for you.”

Jesse McCree never understood how Reyes could be so understanding, so sympathetic, at times like these, but still take the lives of terrorists without a second thought. It seemed as though there were two sides to the commander: the soldier, a specimen and a killer; and Gabriel, a friend and protector. Reyes knew exactly what Jesse needed and didn’t ask for more than the young cowboy could give.

The water wasn’t unbearably cold, but the minor chill seemed to seep into Jesse’s bones. He found the pressure, the weight of the water pushing in on his legs from all sides, to be almost too constricting. His movements were slowed by the water. More force, more strength, was required to move his feet even a few inches. 

Reyes waited until he was sure Jesse was somewhat comfortable sitting on the edge of the pool before beginning a casual set of laps across the long lanes. Jesse admired his arms as he pulled through the water. The motion looked so smooth and effortless. Jesse longed. For what? He did not know.

Without realizing what he was doing, Jesse slid into the water, moving towards Reyes. He didn’t even notice that he was chest deep in the pool until Reyes waded over with a beaming smile and pride in his eyes. Gabriel’s expression alone made Jesse forget to even be afraid.

“See? It’s not so bad.” Water ran in shining rivulets from Gabriel’s curls down his shoulders and over his chest, and Jesse found he had a much more favorable impression of the pool. “Do you want to try floating on your back?”

Floating turned out to be Jesse’s favorite part of learning how to swim. He didn’t much like the water that rushed into his ears, but Gabriel supported him by putting one hand under Jesse’s shoulders and one hand under his lower back, and the warmth of his commander’s skin contrasted against the cool water grounded Jesse. His mind couldn’t race when all he could focus on was the feel of Gabriel’s skin against his own. 

Subtlety had never been Jesse’s strong suit. He was a cocky, overconfident cowboy from one of the most powerful outlaw gangs in the US. He wore his heart on his sleeve and knocked the lights out of anyone who tried to give him shit.

Subtlety could have been real useful when dealing with Commander Reyes. Jesse didn’t really have a name for his feelings. Awe. Admiration. Lust. Love. He wasn’t sure there was a right way to go about giving his entire life over to the man who had lifted him from sin and offered him a chance at redemption. Gabriel was beautiful, deadly, caring, passionate.

And Jesse was a fool. A nineteen year old fool who had fallen for the first man to show him any kindness. And now, when that man was holding him with warm hands, keeping him from drowning in his own fear, he wished he had learned to guard himself more carefully. He wished that there was any other fate for him than the broken tracks he was hurtling along.

“Do you want to try going under the water?” Gabriel asked. His eyes were warm, the same careful expression he had watched Jesse with that morning.

Jesse nodded, unable to trust his mouth to speak. He was terrified of being submerged. But if he said no, then Gabriel would have let go of him, so Jesse agreed to his commander’s every suggestion.

Gabriel’s hands wrapped around Jesse’s chest and Jesse did whatever he could to not think about how easy it was for Gabriel to just _move_ him. He weighed nothing in the soldier’s arms, barely 135 pounds stretched out across not quite six feet. Jesse was still underweight and lean from his Deadlock days. Almost two years later and he had grown four inches, but it was a struggle to keep any meat on his bones.

A low voice in Jesse’s ear did nothing to ease his racing heart as the water lapped at his ribs, his shoulders, his chin. He took a deep breath in and squeezed his eyes shut and suddenly the water was tugging at his hair with a strange weightless feeling and his skin was so cold everywhere except where Gabriel’s met his own. The panic began to creep in, winding its way through his veins as he imagined the air in his lungs running out.

And then he was being lifted. Strong hands under his arms pulling him up until his head broke the surface and water ran from his hair and he blinked in the strange fluorescent lights and he could _breathe_.

“That’s it,” Gabriel assured him, “just like that. You did great _Jessito_.”

Jesse clung to those words as Gabriel released him, letting him find his own footing in the shallow water. He clung to those words as he pulled himself from the pool and collapsed on the concrete. They echoed in his mind as he lay panting.

Gabriel filled his vision, leaning over him with a towel over one arm.

“Was that okay?” he asked.

Jesse didn’t answer for a moment. Now that he was out of the water, he felt fine. He wasn’t drowning. He was safe. It was a few seconds of peril, but Gabriel had been right there the whole time.

“I’m good,” he concluded, pushing himself to a sitting position.

“Good.” Gabriel handed him the towel before grabbing his own. “You did great, Jesse. We can do this once a week if you’re feeling up to it, or you can come find me when your ready.”

“I want to try again tomorrow,” Jesse said quickly. “If you have time, of course.”

“I’ll always have time for you Jesse,” Gabriel smiled, and Jesse’s chest felt tight again. Why was he so scared of drowning? He could hardly even breathe around Gabriel as it was. “Get some rest, _vaquero_. I’ll see you in the morning.”

* * *

Gabriel shut the door to his quarters and slumped against the wall, dragging his fingers down his face and not even bothering to muffle his groan of frustration. 

Jesse couldn’t swim.

For a year and a half, Gabriel had been in charge of teaching Jesse. The kid was his responsibility- _his_ agent. How had swimming never come up? Not even once?

It was better this way. One day of missed training and a panic attack was better than a mistake on the field. Gabriel had to remind himself that. This way, he and Jesse had control over his fears and they could work through it together.

As if Jesse needed another reason to depend on Gabriel. As if the kid didn’t already worship him because a washed up war criminal was the only person to ask him about his mother in the past ten years.

Jesse, with his big brown eyes and his scruffy hair and that lopsided grin as he took out seven bots with six bullets. Jesse and his bony fingers and skinny wrists and broad shoulders all wrapped up in lean muscle unlike any soldier Gabriel had ever trained. Jesse’s body was built out of necessity, out of survival. He was fast, he fought dirty, he thought quicker than any other agent in Blackwatch.

The little shit couldn’t swim.

And now Gabriel was cursed to God knows how many nights spent in the water with Jesse. Gabriel could do it. He had the resolve. Hiding feelings was one of Blackwatch Commander Gabriel Reyes’ greatest skills. Jesse would never know how Gabriel felt.

But the kid himself was a different story, a loose canon. He was a reckless, spitfire cowboy and it was only a matter of time before he got the idea that he needed to do something really stupid.

Gabriel wasn’t ready to hurt Jesse.

* * *

Jesse would be the one to hurt Gabriel. And Gabriel would be the one to do something stupid. Precious Jesse, who smiled wider and wider every night at the pool, who could swim an entire lap by himself. Jesse, who surprised Gabriel by yelling ‘watch this’ before diving under the surface and not coming up for seconds after, gasping for air and laughing because the water was becoming safe for him.

It was only a matter of time before something went wrong. The law of Blackwatch: “everything good comes at a cost” rang true in all aspects of Gabriel’s life.

He had let his guard down a little bit -- that was on him. Things with Jesse were going so smoothly he had forgotten to anticipate catastrophe.

The week had been hard for the both of them. Gabriel’s agents were spread thin trying to prevent multiple international conflicts all at once, and Jesse had fallen victim to a wandering bout of homesickness. Ana had tried to help the young cowboy by sending Fareeha to his room with a tiny potted cactus, but the relief was only temporary. Once the young girl left, Jesse’s melancholy returned.

Blackwatch duties had kept both of them from the pool for several days. By the time Jesse was able to get back in the water almost a week had passed. 

Gabriel actually looked forward to getting in the water once he and Jesse were finally free. He was already swimming steady laps across the length of the pool when Jesse wandered in. The younger man seemed reluctant to get in the water. He stood at the edge of the pool in his t-shirt and trunks.

“Hey, Jessito,” Gabriel grinned, shaking water out of his curls. “What are you feeling today?”

Jesse fumbled with the hem of his shirt. “I guess maybe just some breaststroke? I’m pretty good at that one.”

Gabriel shrugged, “Whatever works for you. You’ve been working hard this week.” He kicked off the edge of the pool, pulling himself through the water with unbelievable strength that made Jesse’s mouth go dry. The air seemed relaxed this evening; Gabriel was winding down after a long week. He wasn’t going to make Jesse push himself when they were both exhausted.

A moment passed. Jesse was still worrying the fabric of his shirt. Gabriel raised an eyebrow. “You good?”

Jesse’s nod was too quick to be genuine. The commander pulled himself out of the water, expression neutral, and moved to grab a towel. He began drying off while the cowboy stammered and shuffled in place. 

“Don’t worry about it, _vaquero_. We can just take it easy for tonight. There’s no need to push yourself.” He pulled his shirt on, the thin fabric clinging to his damp skin. “What do you say we raid the kitchens and find a movie to watch?”

A few more nervous glances. Something was clearly up with Jesse, and Gabriel had every intention of putting his mind at ease. He tossed his towel into the laundry bin and gestured for Jesse to follow him. The younger man was skittish as he trailed behind. He reminded Gabriel of a horse -- not that Gabriel had much experience with horses. That was more of Jesse’s thing.

The kitchen’s were mostly empty, and no one bothered to interrupt the commander as he wrenched open the industrial doors to the pantry. Jesse followed him all the way to the back, right to the good stuff. Gabriel grabbed a bag of chips and another of jerky.

“Take anything you want,” he encouraged Jesse with a mischievous grin. The former outlaw seemed to perk up at the prospect of rulebreaking, and he eagerly grabbed a back of kettle corn.

“...y’know... for the movie,” he shrugged.

Gabriel clapped him on the shoulder with a chuckle; he didn’t miss Jesse’s flush at the gesture. “That’s the kind of brains that Blackwatch needs. Come on, now. I’ve got drinks taken care of already.” 

The trek to Gabriel’s quarters was quiet, but Jesse’s mood seemed to be improving. By the time Gabriel punched in the code for his door, the cowboy was grinning with anticipation. Something in Gabriel’s heart stirred. He liked being the reason that Jesse smiled.

The lights clicked on and Jesse was quick to collapse into Gabriel’s plush couch. He had been over a few times before, but never for anything so casual. Watching Jesse kick his feet up on the coffee table, slumped down in the cushions, he looked like he belonged. Gabriel wanted him to belong.

“I’m gonna change,” Gabriel said. He noticed Jesse was still in his trunks. “Do you want anything?”

Jesse shook his head, too comfortable to move from his spot. “I’m dry, so it’s not a problem.”

A minute later and Gabriel had donned his softest sweats. Jesse’s eyes tracked him from the bedroom to the kitchenette, and something flared in Gabriel’s stomach.

Grabbing a bottle from the liquor cabinet, Gabriel took the other end of the couch and tucked a bag of chips into his side.

“Lucky for you, the drinking age is 18 around here.” Gabriel cracked the safety seal on the bottle and took a swig. Jesse’s eyes were wildfire bright as he passed the bottle.

“I’ve been drinking ‘shine since I was old enough to drive.” The cowboy took a pull from the bottle; he didn’t even wince at the burn of the whiskey. “And I’ve been driving since I was fourteen.”

Gabriel scoffed, shaking his head fondly and scrolling through the movie options.

“What are you feeling? Something recent? I can show you the stuff I liked when I was younger.”

“Yeah, sure,” Jesse grinned. “I didn’t get to watch much out in the desert, so it’s probably better that you pick.”

Another twinge in Gabriel’s heart. Jesse’s life had been so hard. How badly Gabriel just wanted to _give_ to Jesse. To show him that he was needed and loved.

The opening credits began to roll and Gabriel rose to grab a few more things. Some glasses of water, a blanket. He dimmed the lights and returned to the couch, this time, he sat a little closer to Jesse. It took some maneuvering to get the blanket over both of their laps and also put the popcorn and the chips within reach.

Gabriel was relieved that Jesse seemed to like the movie. It was just an old drama that Gabriel had seen in theaters before the crisis, but Jesse’s eyes were glued to the screen. Watching him was more interesting than the actual movie. If Jesse noticed his commander’s staring, he didn’t say anything.

What a fool Gabriel had been. All of his bets had been on Jesse. The reckless, spitfire cowboy who adored Gabriel more than anyone in the old man’s miserable life. It had to be Jesse. A lopsided smile that turned into a kiss Gabriel would have to refuse. 

But that wasn’t how things worked out. Jesse seemed fine with whatever unsteady ground they stood on. He lapped up every bit of attention Gabriel gave him, always ready for it to be his last.

But Gabriel _wanted_. He wanted to make Jesse feel safe, wanted to see him and know him and love him. So he shifted close on the couch. Threw an arm behind Jesse’s head and waited for the cowboy to pull in close to him.

The movie ended, and Gabriel’s finger’s were tangled in Jesse’s hair. The kid’s eyes were half lidded as nails dragged across his scalp again and again. The bottle of whiskey was half empty. Jesse had pushed it away with a shake of his head after a while.

‘I ain’t the drinker I used to be,’ he had said, and Gabriel admired his self control.

The screen darkening snapped Jesse back to the present, and he jolted upright, scrubbing comfort out of his eyes.

“I should probably get going,” he said, stretching his legs out.

“You don’t have to,” Gabriel stopped him. He hoped his expression said what his words could not.

Jesse’s eyes widened. He froze in place, eyes flitting from Gabriel to the door, to the bedroom.

“It’s okay if you want to leave,” Gabriel added, putting a few more inches between them.

Jesse leaned forward to erase the space that Gabriel had just made. “I just- “ He ducked his head. “You don’t mind me?”

Gabriel pulled Jesse in by the back of his neck and kissed him. His lips were chapped, but Jesse moved so softly against him. Tentative, careful. It was harder for Gabriel to restrain himself. He wanted to pour himself into Jesse, warm his heart and make sure that he was protected. He pulled Jesse close against him, chest to chest. As much as the kid had grown, he was still nowhere near as large as Gabriel. It felt good to hold Jesse tight and shelter him.

Jesse moaned softly into Gabriel’s mouth, palms pressed flat to his chest. He seemed to melt into the embrace, sinking into Gabriel’s lap. Gabriel’s tongue swiped across Jesse’s lips and slipped between them. The sensation delighted Jesse, and he eagerly tried to mirror the action for Gabriel.

He pulled away with a grin, but his eyes were still nervous. “You feel real nice,” he breathed. Even in the low light, Gabriel could see the pink flush that ran from Jesse’s cheeks to his ears. The shiny swollen red of his lips. The dazed, love-drunk look in his eyes. “Is there…? Should I…? I’m not sure,” he admitted. 

“You’re perfect, _Jessito_.” Gabriel dragged a thumb from the corner of Jesse’s lips, up over his cheek. “Tell me what you need. I want to give it to you.”

Jesse was momentarily blinded by the possibilities. Gabriel was offering him _anything_. He wasn’t sure what he deserved.

Jesse fell forwards, arms wrapping around Gabriel’s middle and cheek pressed against his sternum. He was sure to hear Gabriel’s heart pounding. A few seconds passed. Fingers found their way to Jesse’s hair again.

“Just being close to you is enough,” Jesse said softly. The rush of emotion nearly suffocated Gabriel as he squeezed Jesse tighter. He would do anything for Jesse. Anything.

“Would you like to lay down?” Gabriel asked. Jesse nodded against his chest, so he lifted both of them off the couch, wrapping Jesse’s legs around his hips and carrying them to the bedroom.

They didn’t have to disentangle. Jesse’s head still rested on Gabriel’s chest, one knee thrown over his thigh. Gabriel let his hands run softly over Jesse’s body, pressing his lips to soft brown hair every few minutes.

How had Jesse come to mean everything to him? A scrappy, underfed mutt with too much bravado and too little common sense. Gabriel had wanted the best for him form the start. Jesse deserved a second chance. But sometime over the last year, Gabriel had realized that Jesse was so much more than just a good shot from the desert. He was amazing in ways Gabriel could never be.

And now he was laying next to Gabriel, drifting off the the sound of his heartbeat. The thought alone made his pulse race, and he was glad that Jesse could hear it -- could hear that he was wanted.

Brown eyes popped up, finding Gabriel instantly. “Can I kiss you again?”

“Of course.”

Jesse swung his leg over Gabriel’s hips, crawling forward until their lips met. Jesse’s nose bumped against his chin before he was able to line up just right, but then his tongue pressed against Gabriel’s and everything felt perfect. Broad fingers gripped Jesse’s hips, pulling them down so that Gabriel could grind up. Jesse’s nimble fingers dragged through the coarse hair of Gabriel’s beard. They splayed over his chest, his stomach...

Slipped beneath his waistband. Jesse’s touches were exploratory, careful. He wrapped his hand around Gabriel’s cock, gasping against his skin as it twitched in his palm. God. Gabriel moaned and gripped Jesse tighter.

Confidence surged through Jesse and he squeezed a little tighter, stroking Gabriel’s cock the way he did his own. The older man bucked his hips and groaned sucking lazily against Jesse’s skin.

“You’re so sweet to me,” he whispered as Jesse dragged his thumb over Gabriel’s slit.

“I’d do anything for you,” Jesse said. “You know that, right?”

Gabriel’s eyes fluttered shut. He didn’t want Jesse to idolize him the way he did, but it felt so good. He wanted Jesse to have sense -- to lay boundaries -- but he also wanted Jesse to keep doing _whatever_ he was doing with his wrist.

“Would you let me fuck you?” The words slipped out before Gabriel could stop them. He winced. Jesse should be making those decisions. He shouldn’t be trying to put ideas in his head.

“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted your cock inside me.”

Gabriel had to push Jesse’s hand away, shove the kid back to let some cool air on his skin. His head was light and his stomach had twisted just at the words out of Jesse’s mouth. He sat up and tugged his shirt over his head, cool air raising goosebumps all over his back and arms.

“Strip,” he ordered. “On your back.”

Jesse fumbled for half a second before shucking his trunks off and flinging his shirt across the room. Gabriel settled between his thighs, running his hand over the lean muscles. They were slimmer than his own, but they looked damn good. Jesse’s cock, red and dripping, fell against his hipbones as he laid back. 

Gabriel stole a kiss, though Jesse seemed happy to oblige him. The bottle of lube he had grabbed from the nightstand clicked open and Gabriel’s slick hand wrapped around Jesse’s cock.

“Ah, shit!” Jesse dragged his bottom lip between his teeth, staring up at Gabriel with sex-drunk eyes.

“Make sure you tell me what you need,” Gabriel said as he dragged his thumb over Jesse’s hole. A few more slick swipes, and one of his fingers pushed in. A bit more lube, another finger. Gabriel drove his knuckles deeper, trying to find the spot that would pull Jesse apart.

It was worth it just to see the look on his face. Lips parted, eyes shut, tongue caught between his teeth. Gabriel pressed his lips to the inside of Jesse’s thigh and slowly worked another finger into him.

“Please,” Jesse begged. “I can’t take it any longer. I need you.”

Gabriel soothed him with a gentle whisper and another series of kisses. It was important to take his time, make sure this was perfect for Jesse.

Blunt nails dug into Gabriel’s shoulder, dragged up to his scalp and tugged at his curls. “ _Please_.”

“Alright, _vaquero_ ,” Gabriel conceded. He raised his hips until they were even with Jesse’s. A bit more lube, a gentle kiss, and he began to push into Jesse.

“ _Fuck, jefe_. You feel so good.” 

“Please,” Gabriel scraped his teeth over Jesse’s earlobe, “call me Gabriel.”

“Gabriel,” Jesse breathed. “Gabriel.”

“That’s it, Jesse. I love when you say my name.” Gabriel rolled his hips, drawing out as far as he could before sinking into Jesse. “I want to make you come.”

Jesse short circuited for a moment. His eyes unfocused and his jaw went slack. When he came back to himself, he chuckled. “Not gonna be a problem there.”

Gabriel’s hand returned to Jesse’s cock. He stroked him slowly, matching the movement of his hips. 

Jesse felt so fucking good around Gabriel’s cock. He looked so good with Gabriel’s cock buried inside him. He made sure to tell him all these things. Whispered them against Jesse’s scarred skin.

“Gabriel,” Jesse gasped. His hands traced unfamiliar paths over his commander’s skin. Hard muscle, scars, coarse hair. Jesse tried to memorize it all. He couldn’t help but feel like he would never be able to have this again. That everything would disappear if he looked away. “I want you,” he breathed.

“You have me,” Gabriel promised. “All for you.”

Jesse let out a soft whine. Gabriel fucked into him a little harder. He was rewarded with another, louder sound. 

“Gabriel! I’m gonna-” Jesse shook as his orgasm began to build.

Gabriel’s hands moved faster, his hips pressed harder. He fucked Jesse roughly, trying to bring him to that end. Jesse tensed and arched beneath Gabriel, teeth sinking into his broad shoulder as he came. His cock pulsed in Gabriel’s hand and spilled over his chest and stomach.

Through Jesse’s moans and cries, Gabriel kept fucking him, not stopping until the younger man was still and pliant beneath him, cock softening.

He pulled out of Jesse carefully, stroking his own cock until he finished in just the same way as Jesse, spilling across his stomach with a soft groan. 

Jesse shifted only slightly as Gabriel flopped beside him. The two lay in easy silence for several minutes, enjoying the rush of endorphins and the closeness.

Gabriel didn’t open his eyes as Jesse began to move. “Shower is all yours,” he offered.

“Feel free to join me,” Jesse said as he slipped into the bathroom.

There was no way Gabriel would be able to get it up again so soon. He was spent, overwhelmed emotionally and exhausted after a long week. Still, he dragged himself up from the bed and joined Jesse under the hot water, if for nothing more than the chance to feel Jesse’s skin under his hands.

Clean and warm, Gabriel dragged Jesse back into the bed, shoving him under the blanket and pulling the cowboy into his arms.

“Can I keep you?” Gabriel asked as he held one of Jesse’s hands in his own.

“You’ve got me,” Jesse said, fatigue creeping into his voice, thickening his godawful accent. “I’m not going anywhere.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sometimes funny on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Clare_Guilty)
> 
> Check out my other fics on [Tumblr](https://clareguilty.tumblr.com/)


End file.
